HISTORY TIME!

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, there lived a bloke named Julius Caesar who, one morning on a walk, came to a serene patch of land, saw it, and conquered it.

Except this serene patch of land was practically the entire globe.

Technically, before Ariana Grande, there came Caesar. He was the first one to spread the vibe of ‘I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it.’ The only difference is that he put it in Latin.

Veni Vidi Vici!!!!

Are you not entertained?!

Of course you are!

But you know who came before Caesar and way before Russell Crowe?

A Pack Of Wolves.

And then the Mama wolf found two man cubs and went all Jungle Book and one of the man cubs by the name of Romulus founded an entire city of man cubs. The other man cub, however, turned into a werewolf. Remus, heard of him? Remus Lupin?

JuNgLe BoOk.

Anyway, man cubs and a generation of Caesars later, here we are, relishing triangular pieces of bread, known as Pizza.

And Einstein’s there, being an A-class meme.

Talking of pizzas, Rome has this habit of naming its squares after its national delicacy.

Piazza Venezia, for instance, what does that sound like? Pizza Venezia, topped with mozzarella and sun-dried tomatoes, garnished with basil, mushrooms optional. However, it looks something like this.

Those who were dreaming of a pizza, sorry mate, I owe you one Pizza Venezia, when we meet, mushrooms and all!

In fact, you’ve got a choice, even a Pizza Novona will do….Considering the onion and olive ecstasy ended up like….

This.

Now that we’ve had our share of pizza pandemonium, let’s get on the dance floor to loosen off a bit. How about a flamenco dance, yeah? The steps to this are so Spanish. Here’s a pictorial demonstration.

Spanish steps, like a staircase, not flamenco dance steps. Made in Italy, but actually Russian.

I’m gonna go with Russian made Spanish steps in Italy.

Alright, have you heard of Hannah Montana?

Good. Now get ready for her cousin Hannah Fontana!

What’s up cuz?!

Nothing much, just a jet of water. Cause that’s what most fountains do.

Trevi Fountain, or Fontana Di Trevi, or Hannah Fontana….

Now, throwing coins and making a wish is something all fountains are famous for. But what if you find yourself out of spondoolies and wish for some? Pro tip: Do not throw in a coin but know that the fountain is full of them. There, that’s a wish come true, ain’ it?

P.S. Don’t do it. Wish for a unicorn instead!

Alright, let’s get back to Russell Crowe. More importantly, the part he played, that of a gladiator. I mean, it’s all glam in films but gladiators were actual people, fighting to death, in an arena where their struggle was mere game to a fickle Roman audience. There was a dream that was Rome but like all dreams, it had nightmares in its realm. There’s the glory of Rome and there’s the games that added to the glory. Both blazing red, one with rose petals of victory while the other with blood. And here we have a monument as an ode to both.

The Colosseum….For the dream that was Rome.

On a lighter note, lets look at rich people’s houses in a surreal film called Crazy, Rich Romans!

Act 1 Scene 1:

Act 1 Scene 2:

Act 1 Scene 3:

And Cut!

Rocks and pillars, depicting the oligarchy and the senate.

Money, money, money!

Must be funny,

In a rich man’s world!

If the last one looked like the Acropolis, it isn’t. However, here’s the Pantheon.

Hail Caesar!

But you know what I find odd? Every emperor that sat on the throne of Rome before ending up in the Hall of Emperors at the Capitoline Hill Museum was called Caesar.

Marcus Aurelius was called Caesar!

Like, why not Aurelius?! Or why not Dumbledore?!

They’re one and the same!