Travelogue 6: Edinburgh


I literally just felt like doing that. MEL GIBSON, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!!! FREEDOM!!!!!

Right. There’s something strange, in the neighbourhood, who you gonna call?!


And that’s because we are going on the….


What it needs is a damn good telling!

Alright, alright, alright…. Story Time!

The moment I landed in Edinburgh, I was in the mood to go all Dora the Explorer! This pamphlet presented itself to me int the hotel lobby and the moment I entered the room, I booked myself a slot on the afternoon underground tour. Which was to begin in two hours….I didn’t tell my mum….Cause I was a rebel thirteen year old….She found out, well, almost immediately, cause guess who provided monetary support?!

Anyway, our hotel was on Belford Road and this tour was to begin at Mercat Cross which was some travel but luckily we got there well in time! And since Dora can’t travel without  the map, here goes!!!!!


If anyone’s following you, they ain’t always lost….

Oh yes, you see that sweet little place called Grassmarket? It has an execution stone which was used to behead people. All those years ago….Memories.

Did I mention that the receptionist at the Tour’s booking office mysteriously disappeared???? Like one moment she was there, smiling under a black hat and the next, poof! No sign of her!!!! Maybe it was just me but this is a ghost tour….Hehe????


This is where the storm brewed…. You see all those people? They are on their ultimate mission. Will they survive the eerie tour???? Only time can tell….One, tell. Two.

Now that we are on the edge of our seats, let’s dig in!!!! I mean, yeah, from this point on, there was a skit that was performed(based on a true story, but I ain’ spoilin’), a mysterious side-door that appeared in the corner of one of the lanes, through which we finally entered the underground vaults led by our guide and when we did, we were welcomed by a candle lit space.

Candles. In an underground vault. Definitely the Watcher.

Now, the Watcher, who has nothing to do with Geralt of Rivia, who is in fact the Witcher, is believed to be the most evil and reckless spirit in all of Edinburgh. And guess what….


Not. Now the vaults of Edinburgh were actually quite popular social places, three hundred years ago, before they were shut and covered in debris. It was like a lively market, with cobblers and tailors and even some aristocrats. But when these places were shut down, many people got buried alive….

Mummy vibes, anyone???? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! WHERE YOU LOT AT??!!!

The Watcher, was an aristocratic bloke. He wore these long boots with the rest of his attire and hence, when tourists saw his ghost, they first noticed his boots. They then went on to name him Mr. Boots.

Hold up. That is an evil spirit and instead of running, the people just go like, “Them boots some dog’s bollocks innit, mate!”

People. Or maybe it was an exceptionally judgmental group of tourists who always look at a person’s shoes….Dead or alive. Then again, PeOpLe!!!!

This bloke is the guardian of the vaults. If you trespass, this guy is gonna rage in front of you in full Gandalf mode and go….


He’s done this before….the latest being twenty years ago. I mean all I can say is that one does not simply walk through the Watcher’s territory. Unless you want to. Just do it….

The next ghostie-ghost is the Child. Another aristocratic, well, child. This chap threw stones at people to get their attention. And guess who just made it to Santa’s naughty list?!

Up next, is the Cobbler. Makes some capital footwear and to top it all off, this bloke’s a friendly. He is a bald chap that always smiles when he sees ya! Alright, I think that’s where the Watcher got them boots from….Business folks.

And that was that…. The receptionist had said that the tour was supposed to be DrAmAtIc  StOrYtElLiNg. But then, why was there a tap running in the second room? I heard it, I swear! And then again, the above receptionist disappeared. So, Just do it, I guess….No really, JUST DO IT!!!

And that’s a wrap!

Be back next time, perhaps with mountains and Lochs and sea monsters….

Yours truly,







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